Ask HN: Burnt out by my side project, yet unable to step away. What to do?
I've been solo working on this side project for over four years now, and I officially launched it two years ago.
I am deeply passionate about the problem space and the positive feedback from the users continues to be a huge source of motivation and validation for me.
I even took a full-time sabbatical for a year to work on it, which helped establish it in a small niche.
When commuting, doing chores or running errands, it's the only thing I can think of. I even created detailed plans for easy to build features that users requested.
YET, every time I sit down in front of my computer, I freeze up.
I know exactly what to build and how to build it, but I spend two or three hours trying to maintain focus for more than 30 minutes in a row. (And, no, Pomodoro didn't work either.)
I feel like a spring that can't wait to jump somewhere else.
I've tried working on it after my day job and before work. I quit social media and try to spend my free time consuming long-form media to avoid ruining my attention span because I keep thinking that's the cause of my strife. But the result is the same: zero energy for execution.
Worse yet, I can't even enjoy my time away from it. The guilt of not being in front of my computer working on the project completely ruins my evenings, weekends, and social time. Stepping away feels impossible because the guilt makes relaxing more stressful than trying (and failing) to work.
How can I escape this cycle?
(And, yes, I wrote this while trying to do some work on the project.)
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Jennifer Senior wrote a great piece back in 2006 about burnout [1] titled "Can’t Get No Satisfaction". It's worth reading the whole thing. Here are some fragments that stuck with me:
How have you been framing your side project? Is your side project intended to be a business? If so, what outputs is the business achieving (revenue, profit, your effective hourly wage as the owner operator)? Dispassionately, is it doing well enough commercially that it makes sense to continue to pursue this business?
In the case where this side project has not been achieving sufficient commercial results, and has been falling short of your expectations and the goals you set yourself, is it possible that your resistance to continuing working on the side project is because subconsciously your body has decided it is not a good use of additional time and energy?
It could be beneficial and healthy if you could give yourself a long break from thinking and focusing on your side project, to get your brain out of this habit of focusing on the side project and give it the opportunity to think and focus on some new things, or just to rest.
From my experience (not with side projects but with job related burnout) consider taking a holiday from it, get lots of sunlight and exercise, spend time with friends and family, pick up a new hobby or resume an old hobby that gives you some immediate enjoyment in the moment. It may take months for your habitual thinking patterns to adjust, but once your thinking patterns change you may have a very different perspective on the situation.
[1] https://nymag.com/news/features/24757/
A couple things that help me when I hit this exact wall: shrink the surface area and make the loop tiny. Pick one ridiculously small, end‑to‑end deliverable (e.g., “add X toggle with a minimal UI, ship a changelog”) and set a 15‑minute “opening ritual” where the only goal is to open the editor and write a stub or one failing test. Energy often follows action, not the other way around. If solo inertia is heavy, swap in co‑working or lightweight pairing; or open a small, well‑scoped issue to invite contributions so you’re reviewing instead of starting cold.
Also worth reframing: is this a business or a craft project? If it’s not pulling its weight commercially, put it in maintenance mode with a clear cadence and let yourself step away guilt‑free for a month. Sunlight, movement, new inputs—your brain will reset its reward signals. When you come back, protect the fun: fewer plans, more shipping, tighter feedback loops.
I am 53 and have had a sideline for 18 years which makes about a 1/4 of an average salary.
I believe people are meant to have one job, unless poverty or circumstance is driving their financial needs.
If your sideline is not making money consider dropping it.
When you enjoy something like programming, and people giving you positive feedback, you don't sometimes consider the bigger questions. Am I happy? What am I doing with my life and relationships?
A sideline worked for me as it has made hundreds of thousands and changed my family's life.
If yours is a hobby, consider stopping it, and see if it comes back to you down the line.
Possibly by coding with another person, if you can find the right person who can meet you IRL to work on it.
If it is useful and has a following, open-sourcing might create some collaborative energy?
I think you're confusing plans and action, too. You don't actually know what it will take to add the features users ask for until you do it. Your detailed plans are probably taking the fun out of what you should be doing when you sit down to code.
1) "I even created detailed plans for easy to build features that users requested" 2) "I know exactly what to build and how to build it"
You seem to have a nice specification of what you want to build and how. Unfortunately, you feel burned out. Thus, one option is to try to leverage LLM by feeding your well-defined specifications and then revising them.
I believe this can help you make progress.